Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Down the Parrot Hole with CLS and Alice

In law school, students are taught to parrot
the words of "AUTHORITATIVE" sources. The blue pill.
Pith hath no zenith higher
than Blue Book perfect citation to precedential and on point squawking.

Parroting the verbiage of a drunkard who
is discovered foaming at the end of a strip mall alley
buys you no bonus points.
But ah, to quote the learned words
of a Judge Learned Hand,
that be a thing of jurisprudential beauty.

For what doth it gaineth
a legal scholar
to have original thought ...

when quotation from authoritative mouth piece
does so much better (for one's career)?

And so it is that we find ourselves
beating back against the waves
of a judicial Idiocracy emerging out of patent law decisions
such as that of CLS versus Alice

Here, each judge parrots
the gibberish of a previous judge,
and the latter repeats from yet another predecessor,
and so on ad infinitim until the nonsense
rises into the form of a living, breathing monster.

Ultimately, corporations become "people".

Machines become mere "abstractions".

Reality becomes just a draftsman's illusion.
And jurisprudential delusion substitutes in for reality.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

On Software Patents and Soft Think Judges, Humpty Dumpty Comments

Howdy !

My name is Humpty Dumpty

Come sit a spell with me.

Yes, up here on the wall.
Fresh air.

You know, it's an odd thing.

When the sun enlightens me,
my thoughts get slightly poached
and then scrambled beyond comprehension.
Do bright things do that for you too?
Consider my deep blue thoughts
on the issue of "Software Patents".

I've always said that
I am the master of my thoughts.
My thoughts are not masters over me.
And therefore, "When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean, neither more nor less."
Federal Judges operate under the same principle.
They exert command over reality, not the other way around.
The bright sunlight meanings that they project onto words illuminate us all!

Consider as example, this "brilliant" statement:
"When a claim recites patent-ineligible subject matter it is invalid under 35 U.S.C. §101"
EXAMPLE 1: What is claimed is: A support means for a judge's dairy aire
(1) two arm rests;
(2) one buttocks cushioning means;
(3) three flimsy legs to tilt upon; and
(4) a cranial rest means upon which to prop one's heavy headed thoughts.

This claim recites the numbers, 1, 2 and 3; all ineligible.
Ergo, EXAMPLE 1 fails under 35 U.S.C. §101.
One merely needs to seek out the right words within a claim and put a leash around them so as to become their master and not let the other words (the "insignificant" words) clutter one's thoughts.

Let's see how gettin' rid of them "insignificant" words works in another similar situation.
Don't run away
and leave me a sittin' on this wall all alone,
tottering on the edge of excitement.
Hang on.
This next part will be a truly White Rabbit experience for you.
 (Click more to see the next example)

Monday, May 13, 2013

And one pill makes you 10 feet small --Go Ask Alice (v. CLS)

During a tour of the set of the popular TV show "Big Bang Theory",

a tired Judge Pauline Newman collapses into

the chair of one of their props, the H.G. Wells Time Machine.
Her eyes barely start to close when the time wheel behind her spins into motion.
Faster and faster. Crazy fast.

The music begins to blast.

With no warning, it all transforms into an image of a spinning compass needle, "directing" its aim to all manner of targets, real and abstract.

Then it deforms once more, into to a top view of a Wizard of Oz tornado.
The witch on broomstick begins her hideous screech.

With a thunk,

Perilous Pauline finds herself
dead dropped into the Land of the Mental Munchkins

"We represent the anti-software patents league,"
they began in sing song syncopation, ...
"... the anti-software patents league, ... the anti-software patents league, ...

The mayor steps forward.
"Welcome to the County of Go Ask Alice,"
he proclaims

"Here in Go Ask Alice County, all is not as it seems.
A machine is not a machine, a process is not a process.
They are mere words; "tools" if you must.
Tools in an abstract twisty worded world.
Fundamentals of a fundamentally defunded mentality.

We hold these truths to be self evident:
Claims should not be coextensive with a natural law, natural phenomenon, or abstract idea

They should be violative of "science"
and of all mode of rational ideation!
Only "nonabstract" ideas (no such thing) are allowed.
Heads you lose. Tails means patent haters win.

Don't believe me?
Go ask Alice (v. CLS)